My last blog was spurred on by the reaction of my mother to the news of my potentially eminent move. She’d known for a long time that I was aiming at a move to Australia, but when it is now so close to becoming a reality, she’s starting to react adversely.
In an ideal world, when you tell your parent, “I’m very close to achieving my goals and getting what I want from life!” They will say, “I am so happy and proud!”
However, an ideal world it is not. They will, in fact, say, “If that’s the case, I want all of your stuff out of my home!” Sigh.
One thing you realize as you get older is that your parents are human too. They have the capacity to mess up, be selfish, and generally exhibit the compulsiveness that goes along with being human. This is a bit of a downer, because if there’s one truth that you hold onto through a large part of your youth, it’s that your parents are the two most perfect people on the planet.
I know where my mom is coming from (because she’s sat me down twice to have serious heart-to-hearts about it). She’s concerned that I am going to move away, have lots of her grandbabies, and never come home to see her while she’s too frail to travel that distance. Logically, this is jumping the gun. I’m taking a two year contract (hopefully), and I may hate living abroad and be home after those 24 months. I don’t have a boyfriend, let alone a fiancée or husband with whom the potential for said grandbabies is realistic.
But I realize I’ve been holding my mom to a higher standard than everyone else around me with regards to her reactions to this news. Applying logic to her reactions/overreactions isn’t reasonable, because she’s just as human as everyone else around me. Being fair, I know that I’m one of the two most important people in her world, so I can understand how the prospect of me moving very far away is bait for her to let her mind run wild.
So I’m going to cut my mom some slack and try to step back to see where she’s coming from in all of this. Granted, seeing where she’s coming from and liking it are two very different things. Deep down, no matter what stage of our adulthood, hearing our parents be happy and proud of us still feels good. Having her upset and anxious isn’t satisfying. That said, about 70% of my friends have been sad at the potential of my moving. And again, I know I need to look at how fortunate I am to have friends that care that much about me, rather than focus on how I selfishly want everyone to be as excited as I am.